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Lily On My Grave

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Saturday, February 18th, 2006
12:28 am - James A. Baldwin, a Brilliant Man
"Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."

current mood: exhausted

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Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
4:19 pm - ~FRIENDS ONLY~

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Monday, August 8th, 2005
12:32 pm - Groton, MA, Monday, 8/8/05, 12:33 PM

OK. I am in Massachussetts which is one of the few states I cannot spell.

Once again I was on a plane out of Dulles yesterday into Logan International Airport (Boston). And now I am on Brookie's computer and it's her birthday and all her friends are going to come over and see I'm really not that cool. LOL! It's gonna be fun! One of these days we're going up to Boston College. For those of you who don't know, I'll be back on the sixteenth.

So much time and so little to do! Ack!

... Strike that. Reverse it.

So I gotta run but I'll see everyone later!!!!

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Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
8:54 pm

I Miss You by Blink 182

"The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me"

You grew up a lot in 2004. And it was mostly a very good thing.

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8:26 pm - Pullman WA, 8:26PM, Tuesday Aug 2, 05
I'm stealing my cousin's computer to charge my iPod an check e-mail etc.

Notes on things that have been on my mind:

-Freedom of Speech/Censorship/Republicanism/Bush
-The embodiment of annoyingness that is my Grandmother and will it come back to bite me in the ass when I'm her age
-Am I likely to: have a heart attack; be diabetic; contract Alzheimer's (Alzheimer's is in capitals because, to me, that is the most terrifying disease in the world). These questions are brought up because: My uncle is prone to heart attacks, my grandmother is diabetic, and my great Aunt has Alzheimers. More later.
-I MISS ADAM (brought about by Kaarin listening to his songs on the CD)
-College... New opportunities, and something I will, when I'm twenty-two and down on my luck, want to go back to eventually (Song for this thought: "I Wish I could Go Back to College"-- Avenue Q)
-UW, L&C, and Bennigton-- So many choices

(More on these points later-- gotta jet, Kaarin just got home)

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Friday, July 29th, 2005
1:20 pm - QUIZES!
You scored as Gretchen Wieners.


Gretchen Wieners


Karen Smith


Regina George


Who's your inner Mean Girl?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Albus Dumbledore. Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.


Albus Dumbledore


Remus Lupin


Ron Weasley


Harry Potter


Severus Snape


Draco Malfoy


Ginny Weasley


Sirius Black


Hermione Granger


Lord Voldemort


Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Peter. You're a lovable but moronic idiot. And where as imbecile is a word, festeasio is not.














What Family Guy Character Are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
OK. My dad has pseudo agreed to buy my a laptop type computer for college purposes. Based on experiences, I'm looking for either a simple iBook or a spiffy-ass PowerBook.

Now I know some of you (Adam, Sara) have had great success with Apple computers. Tell me what you have and how you like it, what it's lacking what's great about it, etc. If you can tell me, I'd also like to know how many GB it's got.

Others might have had greater success with a different brand of computer. I know all too well that better brands are overlooked often due to marketing (such as iPods vs other mp3 players). Therefore, if you know something that might be better, please tell me.

As of this moment, price is not an issue. I just want brand names and models. I want to get this right because I intend on keeping this machine for a looooooooooong time. Please gimme a hand in this and I'll buy you bubbles! Cheers, and thanks in advance.

current mood: excited

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Monday, June 20th, 2005
1:13 pm - EXCELLENT!!
*Bing bong bing* Now that I know I can make international calls, I need to re-get the cell phone numbers for the following people:


And anyone else who feels I should have their number who doesn't live in Egypt (I obviously have yours, Nicolas, seeing as I just called you)

That is all. End of announcement.

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Sunday, March 27th, 2005
7:37 pm
My Space

And a million well-overdue Vietnam pictures :D

Vietnam FunCollapse )

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
2:30 pm - Creative Forgery
Copying poems in Creative writing. Decided to STOP being the Papyrus Loser that I am and actually take time away from copying other people's poetry.

I'm really really really hungry.

I'm also regretting some things that happened over Christmas break. Which is bad because I'm the kind of person who says NO to regret. But I am. And it's making me... sad. Sometimes, I can be a very, very heartless person. Fuck me. I'm going to hell. Oh well, at least I'm good enough friends with Gay!Satan that I know he'll save me a good room.

Tom and I had a raunchy time rolling around on the floor in the dressing rooms today, slapping each other and saying dirty things. HAHA! Actually, it was a blast. Except for the bruises on my legs.

That sounded worse than I had intended it to sound. Oh well.

I'm really really hungry.

Like, really.

Hm. I'm trying to think of something to say. Marise is Queen. Sara is Princess. And I am God. Because that is how the Divine Mandate works out. And Adam is a blasphemor. End sentence. Period. Full stop. Half an hour before I can go home.

They're making a movie out of Where the Red Fern Grows, one of my favorite childhood novels! That book is so sad. Well gotta run, Marise needs me to go back to work damn her. Cheers, all, and Forget Regret or Life is Yours to MISS! (PS-- that reminds me-- Abby and Tom are doing "Another Day" for the CD apparently. I think they sound good together).

current mood: hungry

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Friday, July 2nd, 2004
12:01 am - Automation
It was probably strangest for little Ellen, munching ever so innocently on a good-tasting set of keys in the corner, surrounded by blocks and the spilt contents of her poor mother’s purse. Mrs. Shaw had neglected to put the purse out of her dear child’s reach and was now neglecting to notice that her lipstick was about to be swimming in the baby’s stomach.

Her mind was on other things…

Eleanor was in her homely kitchen with its yellow curtains and linoleum flooring. The design was quite generic, identical to dozens of other kitchens that could be found on her block, full of houses crafted from the same floor plan. And yet, it was Eleanor’s sanctuary, perhaps because it was the only thing that was normal; the only thing that never changed in her life. It was the only thing she had in common with everyone else on her block. For eight years she toiled in that kitchen, baking roast beef and soufflés for her husband’s business associates. And everything here was always exactly where she left it.

At that particular moment, as her daughter became fascinated with mommy’s car keys once more, Eleanor was preparing a steak and staring absently out the window. Her yellow dress with its tiny blue flowers almost matched her curtains and her dyed blonde hair was sitting in a loose bun atop her head. She was awaiting her husband’s return from the office at six thirty. Roger was a good man, who gave his wife everything she needed but attention. He kept her isolated from the world like a dove in a gilded cage, displaying her like a prize at business parties and always latching defensively onto her arm in public as if she would fly away or be stolen like the Rolex watch he wore on his wrist. The only times Eleanor left the house without her husband was to run small errands, such as buying the groceries or taking little Ellen to daycare. Her only release and real friends were the soap operas and game shows she watched while folding Roger’s laundry.

She looked up at the minute hand, which was ticking closer and closer to the twenty-minute line. Roger should arrive in ten minutes.

Eleanor smiled to herself, fantasizing of his return. Every day, it was the same, part of her routine.

“Good evening dear,” he said with a peck on the cheek. “How was your day?”

And she would give him a detailed description of her dull day doing his chores, sounding glad to be of such a help to her beloved, and delighting in the minute amount of attention he paid her at that moment. It was her favorite time of day when Roger came home.

After the pleasantries, they would sit down to a lovely dinner she had prepared previously. Tonight it was to be a delicious prime rib with broccoli and baked potato. She looked forward to slicing into the red meat.

Without a word, she set the table and played with the floral arrangement in the vase in the center of the dining room table. Everything must be perfect. She looked at her watch and noted that Roger should be home any minute. She glanced up at the front door expectantly, with the ghost of a smile gracing her painted red lips.

Swiftly and charmingly she swept back into her tiny kitchen like a specter, as silent as a winter night. She prepared one serving of her delectable meal and put the utensils she had used to prepare it in the sink, ready to wash after Roger came home. Suddenly, dear Ellen started to call for her mother’s attention through the use of tears and screams.

Automatically, Eleanor walked gracefully to the living room corner where her daughter was complaining of an upset stomach from the previously swallowed lipstick. She lifted the babe tenderly as she had done so many times in the past and reflexively stroked the child’s back and soothed Ellen’s ailment with a light lullaby as sweet and quiet as the nightingale.

Gazing at her child lovingly, she carefully placed the calm child into her crib and turned out the lights to return downstairs to the kitchen.

She was in the kitchen when she heard the front door open. Her strange smile widened as she heard her dear Roger’s voice.

“Eleanor dear, where are you?” he called. “How was your day?” She heard the scrape of chair legs as he seated himself at the dining room table, expecting his dinner.

Eleanor opened the drawer next to the sink evenly and reached in to retrieve her husband’s prize.

As if she had rehearsed it thousands of times in her head, Eleanor Shaw swept beautifully into the dining room like the ingénue she’d once been and greeted her seated husband with a bullet to the head.

His corpse was frozen to the chair with that plastic, businesslike smile plastered to his face. She calmly placed the steal revolver in her drawer, where she always kept it. Mechanically, she washed her hands and sat down to eat her steak dinner across from her husband’s brains scattered on the walls behind him.

current mood: grotesque

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Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
11:28 pm - Leaving on a jet plane... Dunno when I'll be back again
Tired. Staying up to catch a plane at three. Won't be back for two weeks. Same deal with Scottland, just read the entry below this if you aren't on my friend's list.


current mood: exhausted

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Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
5:51 pm - Note to ppl who wanna contact me:
I'll be in Scottland for a week for ISTA travels (and WWW). I get back Tuesday night next week, so if you want to contact me, I have my cell, and the important people (the ones I know) are on my MSN list and can message me and get my number from that. Cheers! And CAC kids have fun on WWW!!!

As for the rest of you, won't talk to you for a week so too bad! :oP

B, I'll call the Saturday night I get back, kk???

current mood: excited

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Thursday, February 5th, 2004
11:03 am - MAD LIBS GALORE!!!
The movie opens with whales trashing beautifully in the bright blueish goldish yellowish greenish orangenish purple sea when, suddenly, bad guys with nets chug up in dryers . Willy is screwed and his family swims unhappily away. Cut to a street kid, Natalie , caught grafitti-ing Willy’s tank. When sentenced to fly the tank, Natalie Willy and Sara become Friends. Soon Willy is singing his whale song while Natalie plays in on his electric knife Both whale and boy are becoming Lucky Charms . The action begins when Natalie decides to eat Willy from his captivity.


Sorry, but it's flex, and I've nothing else to do. Natalie and Sara started cracking up.

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Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
9:47 pm
Me: You know what?
Me: I really have some great friends
Andrew: haha after all that you've told me and you just figured that out?
Me: Lol, yeah...
Me: thank you
Andrew: no thank them
Me: I'm genuinely smiling for once in the past week
Me: I will, I really will.

Thank you. All of you. Really. Especially those who I've fought with in the past week, and especially those who stuck by my side despite what I did to them. Thank you always.

current mood: grateful

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Saturday, January 31st, 2004
9:15 pm - From now on

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Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
8:09 pm
And in these days
When darkness falls early
And people rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool's advice
And tak care of your own
One day they're here;
Next day they're gone

Were truer words ever spoken?

God, in a New York Minute... In any minute, come to that.

No, no one's died on me, I'm just listening to the Eagles and... yeah, Hotel California, Girl From Yesterday, of course, New York Minute...

Sad song, those... But Hotel California is kinda upbeat... kinda... New York Minute's the saddest.

Ah, I'm in a very old classics mood... where's Bob Marly and BB King and Brian Adams when you need 'em?

Eh, I'll dig 'em up from somewhere.

Ah, Last Resort. Good song, that.


HC: Welcome the the Hotel California, such a lovely place, such a lovely face....

GFY: She dreams of his returning and the things that he might say, but she'll always be the girl from yesterday...

NYM: What the head makes cloudy
The heart makes very clear
The days were so much brighter
In the time when she was here
But I know there's somebody somewhere
Make these dark clouds disappear
Until that day, I have to believe
I believe, I believe

LR: You can leave it all behind
and sail to Lahaina
just like the missionaries did, so many years ago
They even brought a neon sign:"Jesus is coming"
Brought the white man's burden down
Brought the white man's reign

current mood: mellow

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Monday, January 26th, 2004
4:05 pm - Aren't I bright?
In adition to writing my novel, I have finally completed the end of my Forgotten Series, which has three installments. I've just finished the end of the Dreamers but that doesn't mean the middle's even written yet.

At the end, I realized I was involving my main character (Holly) too much in with the Harry Potter plotline and made it more about her, when it's supposed to be about her brother. Rather than delete the entire reason I entitled the piece "The Dreamers" (including a beautifully written prophecy, if I do say so myself), I just had Holly... decline, shall we say. Rather than be part of this great "prophecy" that has her life mapped out for her, she just says no, and walks away.

People who follow the story know what I'm talking about. B, Nic, you happy? I did it.

Anyways, my novel's working out too. Little by little, it's progressing. I'm on chapter three now (yipee!) and it's fifteen pages on word. Haha, OK, not so long, but whatever.

I'm also looking at www.wwu.edu, Western Washington University.

Good school, Adam's checking it out with me this summer (another school he can aply to that's not in SC lol).

current mood: content

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Sunday, January 25th, 2004
5:50 pm - Yay!

current mood: creative

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10:41 am - Flex with Henry and Sara

The weekened was interesting. There was some drama on Friday, but overall the weekend was pretty much fun. I got some very high-quality quality time with both Thomas AND Adam, AND watch Chicago and Seabiscuit, as well as lost all the memory on my Donky Kong Dixie and Kiddy game, (which Adam half-heartedly tried to fix when I got frustrated), bought a whole new suply of Big Red, AND did my homework ALL IN THE SAME WEEKEND! Wow.

So anyways, started off the day with a badass migraine, nonetheless was in a good mood and helpful to people. Ash and Adam came to join me (who was lying face down, sprawled out) on the feild last break. Class started and everyone went to class, cept me and Sara. So Sara got me some jelly bean thingamabobbers that are now me fav food at the kiosk (made migraine go away-- or maybe it was the anti-inflamatory drugs i took from the nurse). And then it started to rain and then we saw Henry, who joined us as we went to the library and now here I am! What fun, eh??

Wow, I had a lot to say about that.

Every time Tom and I are alone we alway seem to cheer each other up. We're always cracking up about the most serious things, haha. We were in such good humor when we ditched the talent show. Our only worry was that Adam and Nicky and them would think we ditched them too. But Tom randomly said "I dont wanna go to the talent show really" when we were by the water stand and I said "Me neither" so he said "Wanna go to Luceille's?" So after scalping out tickets for fourty five pounds (when it only cost us twenty a piece), we went to Luceille's and chilled at my house. We tried to get together with Nicky and them when the talent show ended, but Tom and I got the feeling they didn't want us there. I couldn't blame them, cuz at the time they were probably upset cuz they didnt know why we left. So Tom and I had fun anyway.

Im very wordy recently, discribing every little thing in detail lol.

So Nicky's leaving now... at the end of the year... cuz she failed Spanish for two quarters. She's going back to the states, and though it's not cool she's leaving, I think it'll be good for her over there, in the long run. Educationally, and socially, cuz she's a very charismatic person.

So that means that Nicky and Ashley are both gonna be gone, and according to Youssef, he might move to Boston (upon hearing the news Adam said "Say hi to Brooke for us"). So that leaves who? Me, Adam, Tom and Marise? Are you serious? I told Adam at Chillie's yesterday that I will be the only girl (because I wasn't really counting Marise). He retorted with the coment "You'll just be one of the guys." And considering the 'guys' he's referring to, and considering my own behavior, I think our 'future group' will be a blend of both sexes, lol. If that makes sense. Anyways, it wouldn't be too hard to be "one of the guys" seeing as they've spent so much time being "one of the girls." LOL!

Well, peace out, Henry's bored reading a mag and Sara's debating whehter she wants to room with Kirsten or than Sharmine or not (I say yay, cuz Sharmine can get annoying after a few days).

So yeah, bubye now, cyber-hugs to all.

current mood: cheerful

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